Because you fell?
by Rottenkittenstastelikebras
Summary: Harry fell off his broom during a Quidditch match, helped Hermione the love of his life get a boyfriend, then helped her get engaged, and he nearly died.  But, he's ok with it?  What?
1. Paying Him Back

Title: Because you fell?

Summary: Harry fell off his broom during a Quidditch match therefore losing the game, nearly died, and almost lost the love of his life… but, he's ok with it? Hermione is, too? What the hell?

Rating: PG-13 I guess?

Harry's POV, and in third person.

**Paying Him Back**

Hermione came rushing into the Great Hall and took a seat next to Ron. Once she got settled in, she looks up at Ron and me.

"Hey guys," she said. "Isn't it a beautiful morning?"

Ron and I look at each other, wondering why she was so cheerful. I mean, of course, not that I mind! It's just strange seeing her so happy so early in the morning.

"What made you so happy," Ron asked her, obviously just as amused as I am.

She looked at him, then at me and said "I have a date this weekend to Hogsmeade."

My insides go cold. She has a date? Why? I'm not saying she's not datable, but… she has a date? She never goes on dates. This boy has to be perfect for her to say yes. She never said yes! And now she says yes… and is ecstatic? I wonder who it could be.

"With who," Ron asks.

"Terry Boot," she replies.

Terry Boot? The Ravenclaw? What does he have that I don't? What could he possibly give to Hermione that I couldn't?

"Terry Boot? Why," Ron asks.

"What do you mean, 'why,'" she asks harshly. "I can't go on a date with someone? Am I not likable? Is that it?"

Ron looked horrified. Upsetting Hermione is not a good thing to do.

"No! I didn't mean that. I was just wondering. I mean, you never say yes to anyone, but now you say yes to someone you don't know? I'm just wondering who's going to date my best friend is all. I don't want someone with you who will hurt you," Ron says. Damn, he is so good at bullshitting, it's scary.

Hermione's angry face turned into a soft, appreciative one, and said, "Thanks Ron for your concern, but don't worry, I know what I'm doing. Plus, shouldn't you be worrying more about the Quidditch game today then what I'm doing afterwards?"

Shit! The game!

Ron has obviously forgotten it, too. We look at each other, bolt up from the table, say our fast goodbye's to Hermione, and sprint to the Quidditch Stadium. Man, why does this have to happen now? Why did Hermione have to tell me about her date right before the match?

"Weasley passes off the quaffle to Thomas. He shoots… SCORE! 130 to 100 Gryffindor," I hear Seamus commentating.

You're all probably wondering, why the score is so high, why the game isn't over, and why Seamus is commentator.

Well, the score is so high because we've been playing for three hours. The game isn't over because Terry, that damn Ravenclaw seeker, and I haven't caught the bloody snitch yet! And Seamus is commentating because… well, I don't know why, but that's not the issue here.

We've been playing so long because I'm just so out of it right now. Every time I see Terry after the snitch, I get reminded that he asked Hermione on a date, and I just rush after it. And now you're all probably wondering, if you're rushing after it, than why aren't you catching it?

Well I can't catch it because every time I get near it, I see Hermione from the stands. Her face is so upset that I can't bring myself to win the game against the object of her eye, even though it kills me.

"Boot has seen the snitch! He's after it, so is Potter," I hear Seamus.

Damn! I turn to Terry and fly after him, not watching where I'm going. I rush after him, miraculously avoiding players due to my lack of concentration. However, I then notice he's under me, diving for the snitch. I dive after him, rushing to get after him…

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in the hospital wing.

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**Flashback**

Harry, rushing after Terry, avoided hitting players while diving after him. However, his good luck streak of avoiding players didn't withstand. From his idiotic lack of concentration, he missed the fact that a Ravenclaw beater hit a bludger his way.

Either it was unbelievable aiming skill, or some insane luck, the bludger hit Harry right on his temple. Anyone hit that hard in the temple, or head for that matter, would obviously become unconscious. And that's exactly what happened to Harry. He passed out, slipped off his broom, and drastically started decreasing the distance between him and the ground.

Terry didn't notice a thing, but when he was about ten feet from the ground, a horrible big, heavy, thing hit him, and sent him crashing to the ground.

Terry looked up, feeling pain throughout his body, and saw the famous Harry Potter unconscious on top of him. He pushed him off, and sat up. Terry noticed Harry bleeding, and signaled someone to get help.

**End Flashback**

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After hearing Ron tell me the story, I sit up, and look around. My head hurts like hell, but I want to make sure Terry is alright. I might dislike the guy, but I'm not sadistic, I don't want him hurt. I look across to the bed parallel to mine and see Terry talking to… Hermione? Why is she over there? She should be here, seeing if I'm ok!

"So, how bad does it hurt," Ron asked me.

"You have no idea," I reply. Every one thought I was talking about my body, but I was talking about the emotional pain that I had from seeing Hermione choose Terry over me. I'm not conceded or anything, but if you saw the love of your life, that's been your best friend since you were eleven, talk to a person she's only talked to three times in her life rather than you… You'd die, right?

Well, I didn't die. Too bad.

After the long wait of people to leave, it was only Ron and Hermione, but you could guess where she was. I look at her, waiting for her to walk over.

After a few minutes of no talking, Ron decided to leave me alone to sulk in my despair. I watch him leave, turn my head to the bed across from me, and I see Hermione walking towards me. I sit up, happily to accept her lecturing, or even her rant, but anything to have her pay attention to me today.

"Harry, are you ok," she says, as if nothing was wrong.

"Uh, yeah, I'm perfect. How's Terry," I ask her, nodding towards him.

She looks behind her to him, and then back at me and replies, "He's fine. He didn't get hit in the head with a bludger and fall fifty feet to the ground. You sure you're ok?"

I smiled, "I'm fine. Don't worry about me. What were you two talking about all this time anyway?"

Hermione looked down at her feet, obviously embarrassed. "He asked me if I could pay him back for not being able to go with me to Hogsmeade because you landed him in the hospital."

I look angered, "It wasn't my fault! I was trying to get the snitch, it's not like I did it on purpose!"

Hermione looked up at me and said calmly, "No, he didn't mean it like that, relax. He just took an opportunity."

I am so confused… He took an opportunity? What the hell does that mean?

"What do you mean, 'he took an opportunity'" I ask, confused as hell.

"An opportunity to do what he wanted to do in the first place," she replied.

"Which is…" I encouraged.

"He wants me to be his girlfriend," she says excitingly. "He was too nervous to ask me in the first place, and afraid that I'd say no, so he told me I'd be paying him back. I told him that I would have been his girlfriend without this mess. There was no need to be paying him back."

I stare at my feet that are under the cotton blanket. Hermione, my best friend, the love of my life, is going out with Terry Boot. I'm so depressed.

"Yeah, no need to be paying him back." I say quietly.

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Well that's it for now. Please read and review! Tell me anything you like, or hate… whatever! 


	2. It'll be ok

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I am poor… very, very poor.

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**It'll be ok**

I slowly open my eyes; the bright light shining through my window lets me know it's around noon. Today is my birthday… My twentieth birthday.

It's been about three years, since the 'fateful' day I fell off my broom. Ever since that day, my life has been a living hell.

I sit up, and roll out of bed, remembering the whole fake smiles, the fake laughter, and the fake happiness I've shown all my friends for the past three years. It's not that I'm a selfless person for letting Hermione be with Terry… it's just that she's so happy.

If you loved someone so much, wouldn't you want them to be happy? Of course you would. Who wouldn't?

God, this sucks. I'm having a small party today, and I haven't even invited Hermione yet. Not that it's my fault… All she ever does is hang out with Terry. Well, I don't think it's so odd that she'd be out with him. After all, she has been dating him for three years.

Which I have to emphasize strongly, these past years **sucked**!

Anyway, I haven't even invited her. I got to go invite her now.

I rush downstairs just about to floo Hermione, and I a whoosh from the fireplace. I turn to see Hermione's head floating in the middle of the fireplace. My lips form a smile, an honest one at that, and I sit down on the couch.

"Hey Hermione, I was just about to floo you. How are you," I ask.

"Hey, I'm good. I was just stopping to say hello and that I have the bill for your hospital visit," she says to me.

Oh yeah, I haven't told you! Hermione's a healer now, working at St. Mungo's. I'm an auror and as you could see from common sense, I've recently been to Hermione's area of the hospital. It was a bit careless of me, though.

"Oh, thanks. Uh I was wondering, are you available to come over today? I'm having a little get together." I ask her.

Her smile falters and she says, "Oh, I don't know. I mean, I have a lot to do today, and I was actually looking forward to going out with Terry today. Today's not a good day. What's the party for, there's nothing special, is there?"

I look at her, as if she had three heads, and wonder what the hell is wrong with her. What does she mean 'there's nothing special?' What the hell?

What… is my birthday not special enough for you? Is it not that great? Yeah, it's not the best day of the year, but it's certainly special.

I go to your party, give you three presents, expensive presents, I might add, and if I'm not mistaken, they were your favorite gifts!

Why is it that your birthday is the day to shine, but mine is just… AH!

"Harry… Harry? Is there something special today," I hear Hermione snapping me out of my angering rant.

I shake my head, looking at her, and say "Well… Today's my birth" and that's all I got out.

I heard a person yelling from behind the fireplace, obviously a fellow healer. I hear her telling Hermione that it's time to go. Go? Go where?

Hermione looks at me and says, "Look, Harry, I have to go. I don't really feel like going out tonight. I'm sorry. But I probably won't be missing anything, right? I'm sorry. Look, I really have to go. You have a good time without me, ok? I'll see you later."

I look at her leave. I feel my eyes start to water. Why is she so hurtful? I know she means no harm, but damn her words cut like a knife.

My birthday's not important to her? Why not? I've been her best friend for nine bloody years! How is my birthday not important?! God damn it. Why can't my life ever be easy? Why can't Hermione just break up with Terry, see what a wonderful man I've become, and just fall madly in love with me?

It's not Hollywood, that's why. Too bad, right? Too damn bad. Like Sirius said before, I'm just a good guy that has bad things happen to me.

Well why could a good guy get great things to happen to him? Why can't bad guys get what they deserve? Why can't I have Hermione?

Do I not deserve her? Of course not, Terry does though. Even though I might hate the guy, want to kill him, and if I ever saw him on the side of the road, burning to death, I wouldn't even piss on him to help him out, he still is a great guy.

Too much of a great guy. He's so good to Hermione. I'd never be able to compete with that. Why would I ever, though. I'm not worth it. Definitely not worth it.

I slowly stand from the couch and head to the kitchen to fix a pick-me-up meal. I turn on the telly and sit back down on the couch.

For the next three hours, I watch a mixture of chick flicks. God, life is so simple in those movies. Aw, poor Hitch, he's lost his girl, oh wait! Wow, she's talking to him, now kissing him… so much for the 'sad life' the film writers hoped for.

I flipped the channel and watch a bit of 'My Best Friend's Wedding.' I change the channel immediately, already knowing how screwed up the ending is.

That's exactly how I feel like. I feel like Julia Roberts. I feel like someone I love is being taken away from me. I feel as if Hermione's slipping through my fingers. I feel like she's actually going to spend the rest of her life with that git.

Oh my God. What if she is? What if she is going to spend the rest of her life with Terry?

God, I don't think I'll survive. I'd never be able to smile again. I don't think I'll ever want to wake up from a night of sleep ever again. It'll be like loosing my soul.

I will be loosing my soul. She is my soul. Hermione's the only thing that's holding me together. She's the one who helps me get back from those dangerous chases I take to go after the bad guys.

Hermione's the only thing keeping me alive. Her smile, her laugh, her joy of life… That's what is keeping me alive, nothing else.

Not the air I breathe, not the food I eat, nor the sleep I sleep. I live for her, and only her.

"Hey, Harry. What's up," I hear Ron walk into the den. I look up from the couch to him.

"Hey…" I say sadly. I sigh and turn my attention back to the awful movie that is on.

"What's wrong, Harry." He asks concerned.

I sigh. "Hermione…"

Ron takes a seat next to me and asks, "Hermione? What's so wrong with her?"

I turn to him and smile. "Nothing is wrong with her. I talked to her today."

Ron smiled back at me, and said, "And… What did she say?"

I look at him confused. "Nothing. I said nothing. I just invited her to my party today."

Ron looked at me, "And…"

I turn back to the movie playing in front of me. "She said no." I see his face contort through the corner of my eye. "She'd rather be with Terry." I explained.

Ron gives me this look, and says, "No she wouldn't. She'd rather be here with you, me, and everyone else. She'd rather be here on your birthday, giving you presents, watching you smile, and actually smile."

I turn to him, tears in my eyes. "No she wouldn't. I bet she doesn't even know it's my birthday. Doesn't that suck? Hermione, my best friend of nine years, doesn't know when my birthday is. When I told her about the party, she asked me, 'there isn't anything special today, is there.' Can you believe that?"

Ron looked at me. "No bloody way! She couldn't have forgotten!"

I turn back to the bad, horrible movie which reminds me of Hermione. "Well, she did forget. She doesn't want to come, she doesn't know why I'm even having a party. She'd rather be out with Terry. She said it to me. She said she'd rather be with Terry than here. It wasn't 'special' enough."

Ron sighs and turns to the movie I'm 'watching.' "Don't worry, Harry. It'll be ok…"

Yeah, I repeat silently to myself. It'll be ok.

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Well that's it for me… read and review! Review damnit! 


	3. Not worth it

Hey, Sorry for the wait guys... Writers block.. haha, Hope you enjoy it!!! Read and review!!!**  
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**Not Worth It**

It's about three hours after my little get together started. Everyone was here… except one.

I look around. I take note of all who are present. Luna, Ron, Neville, Hannah, Ginny, Draco (surprisingly), Dean, Parvati, Seamus, Padma, Lavender, and finally Justin are all the people here. Fred and George are supposed to come later, they got held up at the office today.

See? Even Malfoy showed up. Well, because of Ginny, of course, but at least he's here, wishing me a happy birthday. I then start to stare at the picture in my hand that I picked up from the coffee table.

It's a picture of Hermione, Ron, and I. It is three years old. It was from when I fell off my broom that 'fateful' day. It has me on a hospital bed, looking at the camera sticking my tongue out in a perverted way, Hermione's cheek is pressed against mine and she's making a 'kissy' face at the camera, while Ron is winking and wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

All three of us have a copy of this picture. It's our favorite. How could it not be? I start to remember that day. It was a brilliant day really, but it just ended horribly.

"Hey," Ginny said to me. "What's up?"

I pull my eyes from the picture and look at her sitting next to me. I put on a fake smile, "Oh, nothing, just remembering. Kind of miss the old days."

Ginny smiled and looked down at the picture in my hand. "Don't worry about her, Harry, just have fun tonight."

I look at her thinking it was pointless to have fun, but she's right, I should just forget about it for a while, and that's what I did. I had a great time for the next two hours, laughing and dancing with close friends. I didn't think about Hermione at all… until she called.

You wonder why Hermione would call right? Well, she calls the house when she can't get a hold of me; if muggles were around, she couldn't use a portkey, apparate, or use the floo network right?

"Hello?" I ask.

"Harry? Hey, it's Hermione! How's your get together?" She asks. I hear her sounding very… anxious… about something.

"Uh, the party's good. What's up? Why are you calling?" I ask, not meaning to be rude.

"What? A friend can't call her other friend?" Hermione asks.

"No, that's not what I meant. I'm just surprised is all." I reply. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Oh, well I didn't really want to talk. I have to tell you something that you're going to flip!" Hermione said.

I sigh. First she yells at me because I wonder why she's calling me, but then actually doesn't want to talk. Argh.

"Oh, really… So what's the news you have to tell me," I ask. Not really caring for her answer.

"I'm engaged!" Hermione shouted into my ear, or at least that's what I thought she shouted.

Ha. She's so funny. Calling me on my birthday, telling me she's engaged. She has a weird sense of humor, but I laugh at her attempt.

"Ha. I'm sorry can you repeat that? I thought you said you were engaged," I say laughing.

"I am…" Hermione says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. My laughter ceases immediately.

My worst nightmare has come true. It's my birthday, supposed to be the happiest day of my life, and Hermione isn't here. She then calls me up and tells me she's engaged. I feel my soul slip away from my body, as if I died. I would rather die right now than for her to come over and announce her engagement. I feel as if I'm going to fall down from the pain from my broken heart… if you consider a ripped, stabbed, burned, nuked, shattered, and torn heart a broken one.

Could my life be any worse? Yes… yes it could.

"Harry? Harry, are you there." I hear her ask.

"Yeah, I'm here." I tell her, almost choking over the huge ball in my throat.

"Um, is it ok if I go over and tell everyone?" Hermione asked.

I can't believe her! She ditches me on my birthday, calls me to tell me she's engaged, and now expects me to let her here to tell everyone? No, absolutely not! I will not give in… She's acting so selfish lately. She is not allowed here right now.

"Sure," I hear myself say. Damn my mouth. I can never get it to cooperate.

"Thanks so much! I'll be there in a half hour!" Hermione says. Right when I was about to say a goodbye, I hear the dial tone. I sigh and place the phone back onto the receiver.

I look up and jump. My partner, Robert Parker, is standing in front of me, bleeding. I look at him. What the hell is wrong with him?

"Potter, I found Gates. He's fighting the others off at his headquarters." He told me.

Gates is a follower of Voldemort. Not all of them disappeared after he was vanquished. Only a select few loyal servants remained. We do believe that he is probably the last one, and the most deadly. I look around from the hallway into the den. I see all my friends laughing and having a good time. My friends deserve to live happily like they are now. I look back at Parker.

"I'll go with you," I say to him, getting my wand and my favorite picture of Hermione, Ron, and I. I never leave home without it. I rush back to Parker and tell him I'm ready.

He looks confused, "Aren't you going to say goodbye to your friends? They have a right to know where you're going."

I look at him and say "Come on. It'll only be a little while, I'll be back before they notice I'm gone!"

Parker looks at me as if I'm crazy. "But Harry… Gates is the deadliest…"

But I didn't hear him. I didn't want to. I just wanted an excuse to get away from the party. They'll be there when I return. I apparate to Gates' headquarters and I cautiously look around seeing many people on the floor, unconscious. I step lightly, not knowing what was there, around the bodies around me. These people aren't dead, and I know it for a fact. Gates is too loyal to himself to kill them.

When I defeated the Dark Lord (with everyone's help, of course), Gates promised me that he'd take revenge out on me. Gates promised he would not kill anyone until he killed me, and he holds to that promise. Weird right?

Well, I look around, making sure I don't step on anyone. Damn, it was six against one, and he still managed to knock them all out.

I then hear a noise, look up, and notice a huge golden desk fly towards me.

"Reducto!" I shouted. The desk burst, turned to ashes, and fell to the floor. I look up from the ashes on the floor and see Gates rushing towards me. I purple flame rushes towards me even faster.

"Protego!" I shouted. Gates ducked and dodged the purple flame that shot back at him.

I then see a white light head towards me. I didn't have time to reflect it, so I dodge out of the way, making the curse hit the wall behind me exploding it into many pieces.

As it exploded, the wind blew me over a few feet, knocking my cloak off. I then see my favorite picture fall out of it as the cloak flew in mid air. I freeze.

I no longer think Gates is in the room, I no longer think I'm alive. What Hermione said on the phone finally hits me, and I realize I lost her forever. No more harmless sleepovers from watching movies all night. No more innocent kisses on the cheek. No more talks late in the night.

I look up to see a purple flame headed towards me. I no longer care if it hits me, and it does. It throws me back and I land on the floor. I stand up seconds later, not noticing the huge gash on my chest, or the horrible pain that it's supposed to cause. As soon as I stand up, I'm back on the floor, hit again from another curse. Again, I don't feel it, I don't notice it, and I don't care. I'm just so angry from being pushed around. I'm so fed up with everything.

I stand up, getting hit over, and over again by lights of green, yellow, purple, and every other color of the rainbow. Today is just not the day to mess with me. I remember everything that happened in the last three years, and I hate it. I raise my wand and yell, "Avada Kedavra!"

The spell hits Gates straight in the chest and he falls to the floor. I notice that there is no more wind, no more colors, and no more light. I fall to the floor, noticing the intense pain and weakness from the spells I've been hit with. I look down, noticing I'm sitting in a pool of my own blood. I look up, seeing the picture of my best friends on the floor, and I crawl to it, clutching it in my blood stained hands.

I notice that I'm dieing. I see the world around me start to fade, and I don't fight it. I have nothing to live for, nothing at all. Hermione's gone, and she'll be happy I am, too.

"Harry! Harry!"

Ron? What is he doing here?

"Harry! Oh, my God! What is wrong with you? Why didn't you tell us you were coming here? You could have died if Parker didn't stay back and tell us what happened."

Parker… I never even noticed he came with me, not to mention leaving after he saw me on the floor.

"Why are you here, Ron? I'm not worth saving… I'm not…" I can't finish, I'm too weak.

"What? What the hell are you talking about? Of course you're worth it!" Ron yelled at me, trying to pick me up.

I start to cry and remember what happened in seventh year. What I over heard Hermione say.

"Come on, Harry. Stay with me, mate. Stay with me," Ron yells. I close my eyes and start to remember exactly what happened in seventh year…

_Flashback_

_Harry was walking down the hall, heading towards Hermione's Head Girl room. Harry was about to knock, but heard voices, and noticing it was her and Terry._

"_What about Harry? Would you save Harry from death?" Harry heard Terry ask, emphasizing Harry's name in the weirdest way._

"_Ha. No way. Harry's not worth it." Harry heard Hermione say, also emphasizing his name the same way Terry did._

_Harry put his hand down that was about to knock on her door, and he took a step backwards. Her words cut like a knife. Harry thought he was about to faint, so he grabbed hold of the wall. He ran… He ran like mad, going anywhere, everywhere in the castle so no one could find him. Harry promised himself that day that he would prove to Hermione that he is worth it. He tried to prove it by being there for her all the time, but it obviously didn't work._

_Because of the sudden sprint he went into to 'escape' the pain, he didn't get to hear the rest of their conversation…_

"_Why? She's still your cousin, Hermione," Terry says to Hermione._

"_He, Terry, HE!" Hermione tells him._

"_Come on, Hermione. I bet she wasn't that horrible to you," Terry said._

"_Oh, she was. She was. She used to make fun of me all the time, telling me I couldn't amount to anything, making fun of my hair, the way I was… God I hated her," Hermione said. "Whenever she visited, it was all about her. Harriet this, and Harriet that. But then a great day happened. I caught her trying on my dad's clothes and" Hermione said._

"_She was five! She was curious, Hermione!" Terry said, interrupting her._

"_So what, I don't care. I had to get her back for all the things she did to me… That's when," Hermione said._

"_That's when you got the great idea to call her Harry; however, your parents thought you were giving her a nickname, not insulting her, so they started calling her their 'little Harry.'" Terry finished for her quickly in one breath._

"_Yeah, but at least she gets embarrassed every time someone says it." Hermione says._

_Little did they know Harry walked in on the conversation at the worst time… and left at an even worse time._

_End Flashback_

I'm not worth it Ron, Hermione said so. I open my eyes and see Ron still holding my head. I hear murmuring from him, as if his mouth was covered with a cloth.

"Hermione! Ginny! Anybody! Help!" I saw him yell. I watch him look frantically around the room as if they would walk through the door. He looks down at me and I see his tear stained face. He then holds me tighter and rocks back and forth, as if he was soothing a baby.

"Oh, God," Ron says. "Come on Harry, stay with me!"

I feel myself slipping. I'm so tired, so weak. I start slipping further and further away.

"Harry! Harry! Don't leave me now! Don't give up," I hear him yell at me, his voice getting softer and softer.

"I'm sorry, Ron," I whisper. The last thing I remember is a huge crowd that appeared around us. Screw it; it's better if I leave. They don't have to worry about me anymore.

"I'm not worth it, Ron. I just not worth it," I say. "Not… worth… it…"

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Hoped you guys liked it. Read and review please!!! 


	4. Calm down

Hey guys. Sorry about the long wait, but I had writer's block. Gr.

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**Calm down mate, calm down.**

"What is wrong with him? He could have _died_, Ron," I hear Hermione say.

I'm guessing she's outside my hospital room by the sound of her muffled voice. I can't open my eyes, it hurts too much. The bright light is already hurting my eyes from the room. Oh, my God I hurt so much. I shift slightly and immediately regret my movement.

My back hurts like hell, my chest hurts even worse, and I don't even have proper movement of my legs. I feel like I'm strapped down onto the bed. I hear Hermione and Ron bickering on how stupid I was for doing what I did to myself. I debate whether to open my eyes or not, but if they both saw I was awake, they'd want to see me; however, I really don't feel like talking to them right now. So I sit and listen to what they talk about.

"I just…" Hermione pauses, sighing. "I just can't believe he did this. I mean, why? Why did he just let himself get hit? Why didn't he move away?"

I hear Ron give a bitter laugh. "Well, he's not worth it, is he?" Oh, great. Just wonderful Ron, just screw everything up why don't you?

"What? What the _hell_ are you talking about?" I hear Hermione ask truthfully confused.

Ron sighed and said softly, "Harry overheard you one day when you were talking to Terry about him. He told me the day after it happened. He was walking to your dorm, but before he knocked, he heard you saying he wasn't worth saving. Terry asked if Harry was worth saving from death and you said no." There was a long pause. "I can't believe you… he's your _best_ friend, Hermione! How can you he's not worth it?"

There was another long pause. "You don't understand, Ron, neither does Harry. I can't believe he even thought that I'd say that about him!"

I'm thinking, what the hell? You and Terry used my name. What other Harry's do you know?

"You used his name, Hermione! What other Harry's do you know," Ron asked. I wait impatiently for her reply.

She sighs and says, "Ron, I have a cousin named Harriet. She was always the spotlight when she came to my house to visit. I was just jealous because I'm so used to being the only child, but whenever she came over, the attention was always on her. I was little, I didn't know better…

"One day, I found her in my dad's room trying on his clothes. We were both five, we were both curious kids, but I just _had_ to be the center of attention, I just _had_ to get her back for all the names she called me. So I came up with Harry. It was before I even knew who Harry was. So when Terry and I were talking about people we would save from life or death, he asked if I would save my cousin. I said no, but later on we discussed it, using her real name. Didn't Harry hear that?"

Oh... Damn it, why do I have to be such an idiot? If I just stayed for one more minute, it would have made everything so much better…

"W-Well, n-no… I guess he didn't," I hear Ron say sheepishly.

"Didn't what," I hear Terry say out of nowhere.

"Harry thinks we were talking about him when you and I had that conversation about people we would save a couple years back," Hermione says.

"Oh, when you were talking about Harriet? Well, I could see why, you did say Harry…" Terry said.

"Yes, I know that. But he obviously didn't hear what we said afterwards. Ron, do you honestly think I wouldn't save Harry? God, I tried everything I could today. He's lucky to be alive. I had to read so many books, make so many potions. He got hit with so many different curses I wouldn't be surprised if he goes into shock after he wakes up." Hermione says.

'Shock?' Well, it didn't happen to me, so thank God for that.

"What do you mean 'shock?'" Ron asks.

"You know: a seizer, hyperventilating, heart attack… I can list all the shocks he might be going into," Hermione says.

"So he'd be going into shock right after he wakes up," I hear Ron.

"Not necessarily," Hermione replies. What does she mean 'not necessarily.' "It takes about twenty minutes for the body to realize the brain needs to function after sleeping; usually. It could take shorter or longer depending on how much sleep that person gets. Think about it: if someone jumped onto your bed while you sleep, would you be ready to fight him or her off? I doubt it."

Oh, great… just great.

"Well, thank God he's not awake then," Ron says. How ironic is this situation?

"I'm just glad I got to him when I did." Hermione says. "I can't believe he left the party for something like this. Of course it's the 'last' Death Eater, but he wasn't prepared. He was preoccupied by the party… that's what messed him up."

Oh, Hermione… you are so wrong.

I hear Ron sigh, "Hermione… He wasn't distracted by the party. It was you." There was no response. Hermione was obviously confused as hell.

"Hermione, Harry's been your best friend for ages, but what you don't know is that he has been loving you for God knows how long." Oh, God… kill me, please? "He didn't want to say anything because he was afraid of ruining your relationship with him, but I convinced him that it wouldn't. I know you wouldn't.

"So he decided to tell you the day of the Quidditch match, but someone else beat him to it." Ron said. Terry's still there, isn't he… Oh, my God.

"Hey, it's not my fault I got to her first," Terry said defensively.

"Relax, man. Harry doesn't hate you, he really doesn't. He's just upset he didn't ask her first." Ron said.

"But, why didn't he just tell me instead of hiding it," Hermione asked… Wow, I'm surprised she's taking this very well, I thought she wouldn't care. Maybe she doesn't believe him.

"When you came down to breakfast, he was going to tell you. But you told us about your date, and he said you looked so happy he didn't want to ruin it. So he backed off, waiting patiently for his turn. However, days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years, and now you two are getting married. But it doesn't change anything, he really does think you're great for her, Terry. He's just upset it can't be him." Ron tells them.

Oh, my God. RON! What are you thinking? This changes everything, damnit! I'm about to open my eyes and scream out in frustration, but Terry's voice stops me.

"Ron, can I talk to Hermione for a moment… alone?" He says.

"Uh, sure." Ron replies.

"Hermione, do you love Harry?" Terry asks her. Why are you torturing me, God, why?

"Why? It doesn't matter," Hermione replies.

"It does matter, Hermione. I feel like a git now. Not because Harry loves you, but because you've always been second best to me." Woah, what? "Hermione, I love you, I really do, but I can't see myself living with you for the rest of my life. I know you must hate me right now, but I need to say this. I love you, remember, I really do. But I've been in love with Hannah for so long. She was always dating guys and such, and I just said to myself, 'move on.' And I did, for a while. I asked you out, and then it got serious. You are so much like her, Hermione… but you're not her.

"I want to know if you love Harry, because what's the point of being together if we both love someone else?" Terry asks. Oh, God. Please say yes, please say yes…

"I… I do." I hear Hermione say softly. Oh… my…

"YES!!! YES!!! She loves me!!! WOO HOO! YYEEE-" I then feel a pain in my chest. I lay back down from my fit I just had. I clutch my heart, oh it hurts. I start breathing heavily. I see Hermione and Terry run into the room.

"Oh, my God." Hermione says. I then see Ron sprint into the room.

God, this hurts. The bright lights that are around me start to dim, my heart hurts even more, and I start to twitch. I'm obviously going into shock, because I see Hermione rushing around the room fetching potions and other things. I start thrashing uncontrollably.

Ron then gets a hold of my arms and pushes them to the bed. What is happening to me?

Ron then says "Calm down mate, calm down."

* * *

There it is... sorry it took so damn long. I have so much to do. But, thanks to those who are sticking with it. Your reviews make me work harder on this. 


	5. Yes it does

Hey guys, sorry it took so damn long. But as you can see, its longer!!! Sorry again!! Thanks a lot for the reviews... again

SORRY!!!!

**Yes it does**

Argh. My body feels as if it went through hell and back. Oh, man. I want to open my eyes, but they're so heavy. I don't think I can even talk if I wanted to. Man, when did my life become a living hell? Obviously three years ago.

Hermione getting a date, Hermione getting a boyfriend, Hermione getting engaged… Hermione getting engaged.

That echoed in my head for so long. It's taunting me, mocking me, rubbing my face in it. How I hate love. Love, it's such a strong word. I don't think I can even describe what I feel for Hermione, because I know it's more than love; but what is more meaningful than love?

Suddenly my thoughts are interrupted by Ron's voice.

"Wow, I never knew you loved him, Hermione," I hear him say.

Neither did I. But, I can't help but feel this is all a dream.

"I do… but as a brother, Ron." My heart crashes and burns. Damn you.

"Are you sure about that," Ron says.

There was a brief pause, "Yes."

My life is officially over. From all the crap I went through. I know I don't need to repeat this, because to be honest… I think I'll die from actually reliving this again.

"Then why is it you always smile when he comes to you? When you feel upset, do you go to Terry? When you have a fight with Terry, do you go to me or Harry? When you found out you got your favorite job of being a Healer, who did you tell first?

"Hermione, you love him, I know you do," Ron says. Wow, it's true what he's saying, it really is.

"Ron, he's my best friend!"

"So am I!"

"What, if I was crying on your doorstep, you'd actually hold your arms out waiting for my hug?"

"Yes… You know I would. What, do you think I'd resent you, or would you rather have the arms of Harry wrapped around you?"

There's a big pause. It's not like I'm really paying attention, I no longer care what she says…

Oh, who am I kidding? She's still the most important person in my life. Even though she stomped on my heart, picked it up, cut it in half, and taped it back together just to rip it apart again and again.

"Harry doesn't love me, Ron, so stop saying that. Who could? I'm just a bookworm, know-it-all, frizzy haired freak. I'm surprised Terry proposed to me… but that didn't last very long, did it? I know you're trying to do me a favor by telling me someone loves me, but come on. To tell me Harry loves me, of all people, too! Even if he did love me it's not like we'd be together. I'm not good enough for him," Hermione says.

God, she's so stupid. Not to insult her, but really, her not being good enough for me? It's the total opposite! I'm nowhere near as great as she is.

I know Hermione would never believe anyone, but I had to try. I try so hard to tell her she's so great, but all that comes is a grunt.

I hear Ron and Hermione gasp, and they start asking me questions like 'Are you ok,' 'What's wrong.' I groan and grunt for another minute and finally I say,

"You are good enough." That was so hard to say, but I had to do it.

I then hear a collection of voices asking me what I said. There's obviously way more people than I imagined, but now, I really don't care.

I take a deep breath, and start to tell Hermione how wonderful she is.

"I said you are good enough, Hermione. You've been my best friend for over nine years. You've been there for me when no one else has. True, you weren't great to me fifth year, but who wasn't. You've been dealing with my shit for five years then, and you probably just got tired of hearing me bitch. After everything you said to me during fifth year, and how much you didn't believe me, or whatever, you still went to the Department of Mysteries, didn't you?

"How could I ask for another friend? And when you went out of your way to join me… and get hurt, I was about to die." I start to choke out; I've never really talked about how I felt for a long time. "I never noticed how important you were, until that split second where I thought you had died. I've been given the gift of being your best friend, and seeing you everyday, healthy, smiling, happy, and just simply being there for me. When I saw you on the floor, I realized I wouldn't be able to live if anything happened to you. At that moment, you were the only thing that mattered to me.

"You still matter the world to me, but you know I love Ron, too." I laughed. "But in all seriousness Hermione, how could you ever think that you're not good enough for me? When have I been there for you? I made fun of you with S.P.E.W. didn't I? I called it 'SPEW' right? What kind of friend am I? I laughed at you when you accidentally turned into a cat second year, when I clearly should have been worried sick. I yelled at you when you let the secret out about my firebolt. You were only worried, but I yelled at you, and I didn't talk to you for about a week. What kind of friend am I, Hermione? How are you not good enough for me? It's me who is clearly not good enough for you. You deserve so much better. I'm so sorry for being such a bad friend, but now I know my mistake, and I'm terribly sorry. You must hate me…"

I then start crying. Not teary eyes, or just little droplets, but I really start to cry. Bawling, horribly crying. My whole body jerks from my sobs. I suddenly feel a pair of arms around me, and I immediately know it's Hermione. I pull back trying to get away, but I can't.

"Don't touch me. Just leave. You should've done that ages ago. I'm not even worth being your friend, Hermione." I cry harder.

"Don't you dare say that, Harry. Don't you dare! You're the best friend anyone could ever have! In first year, everyone resented me. I walked into your compartment, asking for help, and while Ron looked at me like a freak, you looked at me as if I were normal."

"But you are normal, Hermione," I tell her, hands now over my face, wiping my tears.

"See, Harry? You think I'm completely normal! Even when we were eleven, you did. Who else thought I was normal? No one! Who remembered I was in the bathroom when the troll came? You did. Who trusted me to give you Polyjuice Potion when we were only twelve? Who came back in time with me to change the future in third year? Who never once doubted my input about the tasks in fourth year? Who took my bantering, yelling, and hatred during fifth… AND sixth year for that matter? Who told me their deepest thoughts during seventh year? Who would reassure me when I cried at night during seventh year?" I hear Hermione choke back a sob. She's crying… she's crying. "Who made me feel like the most important person in the world everyday of her life? You did Harry, you did."

I can't believe I mean that much to her. I then say to her, "You're wrong, Hermione… so, so wrong."

I open my eyes and look at her. She looks at me so confused, upset, and tired.

I smile and say, "I don't think you're normal anymore, Hermione. You totally surpass it."

She looks at me, gives a weird laugh and sob at the same time, and throws herself at me.

She understood what I meant. We both understood each other. We were too stubborn before to realize what we really meant to one another. So we sit there, hugging, holding, grasping each other like we haven't formally seen each other in years. It's true though, we haven't been ourselves for a long time. I've been pretending to be happy, pretending to be loved, pretending to be unhurt, and pretending to be someone else. Hermione's been pretending to be in love with Terry, pretending everything was ok, and pretending to be happy. I think back to the other day, thinking about my birthday. Was all that a lie? Did she really forget, or did she not want to go…

I pull away from her, and look in her eyes. "Why didn't you know it was my birthday?"

Hermione looks shocked, "I knew it was your birthday! How could I not remember?"

I'm even more confused. "Then why didn't you go to my party? Why did you say all those things?"

Hermione starts to laugh, which confuses me even more. "Harry, I knew it was your birthday! I told you I wouldn't go because I needed to pick up your birthday present with Terry! I wanted to surprise you when I walked in!"

I look down and feel ashamed. How could I think she would forget my birthday?

"But you see when I went to see Terry… He proposed. I was very surprised and honored, however I never really knew why it was so sudden. But he told me that Hannah was proposed to, and accepted, so he did it. I should feel cheated, upset, and even pure hatred toward Terry, but to be honest, I'm actually glad. He opened my eyes and told me to do what I wanted to do. He took his own advice and is actually talking to Hannah as we speak." She laughed.

I chuckle, too. "I'm sorry for thinking that you forgot. So… what is the wonderful birthday present you got me?"

She laughed, and dug into her pocket, and saw her pull out a ring. "I spent about a year looking for this ring. I searched and searched and searched, and then I finally found it. Do you know what it is?"

I look at it. It's probably the most beautiful ring I've ever seen in my life, it seems so familiar to me, but I can't remember where I've seen this before. I shake my head and look back at Hermione.

She smiles and says, "It was your mother's ring. Your dad used it to propose to her. It's probably the only thing that you have left from your parents, except your invisibility cloak. Personally, I think your father had the best taste in rings. I absolutely love it." She says while handing it to me.

I marvel it. I look at the diamond on it. It's so extravagant, but so subtle. It's wonderful. The light glimmers off of it like the sun glistens from the sea, like the light shines from Hermione's eyes. Hermione's eyes…

"You alright, Harry?" Hermione says, snapping me out of my memory. She walks out into the back yard of our new house holding two cups of tea. She hands me one and I take a small sip. "Hey, are you alright?" She asks again, running her left hand through my hair, soothing me, while she sits down next to me on the wooden bench.

I look at her and smile. "I'm perfect, Hermione, really, I am."

Today's Hermione's birthday. It's been over two years since I defeated Gates, two years since I started to truly smile, two years since I started to date Hermione, two years since I've been truly, truly happy.

Hermione smiles at me and drops her hand into her sweater pocket, and turns to sit facing the fire pit. "It's a bit chilly for it to be summer, isn't it?"

I wrap my arm around her, "Better?"

She smiles and leans in. I still haven't given Hermione her present yet. I think back to the ring. The one she loves so much. The one that reminds her of the love my parents felt. The one that reminds her of the love she feels for me. I reach in my pocket and twirl the ring in my hand.

"You know, Hermione, I've been thinking. You know my mother's ring you love so much?" I ask her. She turns to me and nods. "Well, I was thinking you should have it."

"What? No, no, no, no! That's your mother's ring! If I take it, it'll lose its meaning! Plus, it's too beautiful!"

I then set my tea on the ground and turn to her. "It won't lose its meaning. Not if you marry me."

She looks at me, shocked. "What?"

I then get on one knee and look into her wonderful cinnamon eyes that sparkle from the light from the fire pit. God, I've never been so nervous in my entire life.

"Hermione, will you marry me?" I ask. Oh, God. What if she says no? What if she throws it in my face?

"Yes! Oh, my God, Harry! YES!" She yells, drops her tea and gives me the best hug in the entire universe. I'm engaged… I'm actually engaged to the most wonderful person in the world. Wow, engaged! She'll be Mrs. Potter. Mrs. Hermione Potter…

Has a nice ring, doesn't it? Yes, yes it does.

* * *

Letting you all know, this isn't the last chapter.. there will be more. 


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